HELP

HELP! The Beatles sang about it. Help! Children call it! Why then is it that too often adults are afraid to ask for help? This week we take a little bit deeper dive into what help means and how to ask for it at home and at work. Merriam-Webster defines help in several different ways. For our purpose we are looking at the first – to give assistance or support. Why is it so hard then for people to ask for help? Believe it or not, it is because people are hardwired to want to do things on their own and asking for help requires allowing someone else control. Contrary to the adage of ‘fake it till you make it’ asking for help and asking questions is a key to success. While asking for help may not come naturally, it will get easier. I have found it easier to ask for help if I follow these steps:

Figure out your end goal.

What is it that you need? What goal are you trying to reach? Once you have that in mind you can more easily figure out the resource you need. I find that I can usually locate what it is I am in need of by asking myself these questions:

• I am working on …… and I could use help with…..

• I am trying to ……. And I would benefit from …….

• I want to ……. And I need……

SMART Goals also equal SMART requests

To make an effective request for help follow the SMART logic:

Specific. Ask for a specific. I need….help with bath time. I need training on Excel. Once you can be specific in your need it allows others to see what you need.

Meaningful. Include why you are asking. People often don’t include why they are asking but often letting people know why you need their assistance is the easiest way to get it.

Action. Ask for something to be completed rather than restating your end goal.

Realistic. Nothing outside the realm of reality is possible no matter how much help you ask for.

Time. Provide details around the time it is needed for.

Say Thank You.

After receiving aid, show gratitude. Follow up with whomever helped and let them know how their assistance directly impacted you in attaining that end goal.

By applying these principles, I have found it easier to ask for help both at work and at home. If I need someone to take on an additional project I find more success when I present the end goal and ask for a SMART assist. “Anna, will you please help by reading this document by Thursday and providing your feedback on if the numbers match your projections?”

And it works just as well at home. I have found my husband is much more likely to assist with something if I *gasp* actually ask for what I need. “I have a heavy workload on Tuesday and need you to make dinner by 7.”

Think about your end goals and how you might be able to ask for help this coming week!

- Morgan