Getting Away

Exhaustion. Fatigue. Burnout. These words indicate a specific type of work-related stress; one that can be either physical or emotional but is often both. It’s not a medical condition and yet can often have significant health consequences including fatigue, insomnia, sadness, anger, or irritability, heart disease and more.

I recently realized that I was what was considered “burnt out” and it shocked me. I am not sure why I was shocked – I was displaying many symptoms (fatigue in both a mental and physical way, emotional swings, and a racing heart more often than not). I was feeling burned out on the job when a couple heavy personal issues occurred in my life in a short time span, and I realized: I can’t work right now. Not only can I not work, but I also shouldn’t be working because I am not performing my job duties in the way that I should for my team, my colleagues, and my company.

If you know me, you understand that this was a hard reality for me. I am incredibly goal-driven Type A personality and measure my personal success based on what I accomplish, do, or achieve in any given scenario. Admitting I can’t do it all WAS NOT PART OF MY PLAN. I am lucky that I am surrounded by friends and mentors, colleagues and family who all encouraged me to step away and realign. I have spent these last two weeks reading for fun. Spending time in a cabin in the snowy wood. Doing a chocolate chip cookie taste test with my 5-year-old. Taking the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood. Thinking about who I want to be, and what I want to be for those coming up around me in the workforce. Do I want to be a model of what not to do and work myself into a hospital bed? Or do I want to be a model of knowing when to slow down and smell the rain? I am so grateful for mentors and leaders who not only encouraged me but ensured I would be able to take two weeks away from work and rediscover the best parts of myself. I don’t do anyone any favors when I am not at my peak – not my family. Not my company. And most of all, not myself.

I realize that it is quite a privilege to be able to step away like I did, and I am eternally grateful I have that luxury. What I wish I could tell myself 15 years ago is “don’t let it get to this point”. Take quarterly vacations. Make a long weekend an extra-long weekend on occasion. You don’t have to work around the clock to *prove* anything to yourself.