I Get So Emotional?

While it may seem the prospect of putting on hard pants will be the most daunting part of a return to the office, the emotional toll is typically what effects an employee the most while being the aspect they least prepare for.

Returning to the office after parental leave or extended time away is not an easy experience. A recent Harvard Business Review post provides excellent advice on what to do and not to do but I would add there is one overarching theme to their suggestions: BE PATIENT.

Practice Makes Perfect. Your first day back to the office is not the time to try new childcare, new morning routines, or new evening routines. Begin new childcare and new routines prior to the return to office through trial or practice runs. 2020 has been a year with various childcare, schooling, and work schedules. Decide as a family what the new routine will be and do several practice runs prior to returning full time to the office.

Ease into the return to normal life. Do not have an expectation to have a full five course dinner the first night or even the 14th night. Give yourself and your family grace and have easy meals prepared ahead of time or plan on supporting local restaurants through delivery or takeout. Just a return “to normal” will be both physically and emotionally exhausting for the entire family. We have increased our eat out budget and decreased our grocery budget as we know that it will be exhausting for all and ordering in Chinese or Indian may be the better option some nights.

Be patient with your children – this is an adjustment for you and for them. They have most likely spent over a year spending all their time with mom and dad and being at home. A return to non-parent care or to school will also provide emotional and physical exhaustion for children. Children don't have the words or ability to understand why they are more emotional - only that they are. I have begun reading books and talking about feelings with my four year old in an effort to prepare him for the change of returning to school.

Ask for help – Don’t shoulder your worries and work on your own. If a more flexible schedule is needed; ask. Set expectations with your coworkers and your boss regarding your available hours and what you will and won’t do outside of working hours. My partner and I have discussed hiring in a cleaning service to provide relief and creating a transitional routine to ease back into a return to the office.

Tears May Be Shed. Crying is likely, and not just from the babies. After my second child was born, I cried every day on the drive to and from the office. For two weeks. To this day I cannot tell you why; only that the emotional changes of a physical return to work wreaked havoc on my psyche. I questioned my abilities every day and wondered how I could be a good parent and a good employee if all I did was want to cry. As I face a return to the office I am preparing myself for the additional emotional impact of what will be a changing experience. I know that changes often cause my emotions to shift and I will likely be more emotional and possibly cry.

Patience with those around you and with yourself will be the most helpful tool you can wield during the transition back to work after a long leave or work from home situation as you, your family, and your coworkers make the emotional shift to office work.

- Morgan